探戈中的女人味和女权主义

在布宜诺斯艾利斯的舞会上所跳的探戈舞是男人和女人之间友好，亲密，关爱与和谐关系的写照。男人和女人从起初就是好朋友。男人喜欢女人。他们选择女人而不是男人做他们生活的伴侣。他们对女人比对其他男人好，也更慷慨。他们为女人与其他男人争斗竞争，并为自己所爱的女人拼命工作。女人也喜欢男人。她们总想吸引男人，赢得男人的心。她们把自己信托给男人，与男人结为一体，向男人奉献出自己的爱，并顺从男人的带领。男人和女人互相珍惜，彼此成就。他们的友谊，从总体上说，是一个爱情故事。

布宜诺斯艾利斯的探戈舞会让我想起这个爱情故事。在那些舞会上，我经验了与阿根廷妇女的美好关系。从外表上看，阿根廷妇女并不让我觉得比其他妇女更美丽。但她们却因她们的舞蹈在我心中留下了深刻的印象。她们是我所知道的最有女人味和女性魅力的女人。她们头上插着花，眼睛友好地望进你的眼睛，双手热情地拥抱你，把她们的胸脯亲切地贴在你的胸膛上。她们翩翩起舞，摆动她们的裙子。热烈，多情而富于诱惑，她们在你怀里扭动她们的身体，用她们的腿缠住你的腿，用她们的身体裹住你的身体。女人味并不是她们的弱点，而是她们的力量所在，而且她们知道如何用它来​​让你感觉特别。在现实生活中她们可能是教授，医生或老总，但在舞会上她们却只是单纯，自然，简单，可爱的女人。探戈由她们发明绝非出于偶然，因为那是在她们的血液中。阿根廷妇女是女人味和女性情感的人格化。与她们跳舞的确是人生中最令人满足的经验之一。

离开了女人味，探戈就不一样了。探戈需要男人强壮，果断，可靠，对女人很保护，也需要女人温柔，顺从，有女人味，妖娆美丽。男人和女人在探戈中扮演不同的角色，就如同在生活中一样。一个象枝干，另一个象花朵；在一起他们成为一棵盛开的大树。一个象画笔，另一个象颜料；在一起他们绘出美丽的画图。在欧洲和北美，有些人认为这种想法是性别歧视和男权控制。他们不希望探戈中有大男子主义，性别不平等和亲密的举动。他们希望舞伴之间保持距离，没有身体接触，用开式拥抱跳舞，以避免性刺激。他们希望男人不是带领女人，而是“邀请”女人做动作，并尊重她们拒绝邀请，率先动作，和带领男人的权利。他们还希望探戈在同性舞伴之间跳，女人带领女人，男人跟随男人。总之，他们希望探戈成为中性化的舞蹈，而舞会则象工作场所那样，在其中所有的人都以“政治上正确”的方式对待他人。

在欧洲和北美，妇女的男性化对探戈的跳法有着不可否认的影响。在那些社会里，现代生活方式鼓励妇女穿上工作服，隐藏起自己的性别特征，加入劳动大军同男人一样战斗。许多妇女把职业生涯放在婚姻之上，把个人成功放在家庭之上，把独立自主放在配偶关系之上。她们推动保护妇女权利和机会平等的法令，禁止男人把女人视为性对象。结果，妇女也越来越不把自己看成是女人，而把自己越来越看得象男人一样。为了与男人竞争，女人需要具有象男人一样的强势，事业心和挑战性。许多女人变得粗暴，讨厌，邋遢，肥胖，因为她们不再关心男人怎么看她们。她们养出粗暴，讨厌，邋遢，肥胖的女儿，因为希望她们长大后也与男人竞争。暴力的女人培养出暴力的杀人凶手，正如全世界刚刚在康涅狄格的Newtown所目睹的那样。当女人的行为变得如同男人，男女之间的关系便恶化，家庭便解体，孩子便失去父母。当女人不再有女人味时，她们对男人就不再那么有吸引力了，男人于是到同性关系中寻找替代。你想知道为什么“婚姻平等”日益成为我们社会中的热门话题吗？当女人失去其温柔仁爱的本性——这原是对男人好斗本性的一种平衡，这世界将成为一个更加危险的地方......

女人味之与人类，就象绿色之与环境。我为我们的妇女身上正在失去的女人味感到遗憾。我想，世界也在为此怀旧，这是为什么全球各地的人们都发现阿根廷妇女和她们的舞蹈如此迷人。如果你跳探戈舞跳得足够多，就象阿根廷妇女那样，你就会知道把女人变成男人在探戈里是行不通的，正如这在其他社会生活领域也造成了许多麻烦，却没有解决任何问题。在说了这些以后，感谢阿根廷探戈，我仍然对未来抱着希望，因为在探戈里，男人和女人为他们共同的利益必须保持他们之所以创造出来的样子：不同，然而是统一的；独特，而又不失平衡，多样，却互相补充，相反，但仍是平等的。

Femininity and Feminism in Tango

The tango that is danced in the milongas of Buenos Aires reflects a relationship between men and women that is friendly, loving, intimate and harmonious. Since the beginning of time men and women have been best friends. Men like women. They choose women over men to be their life partner. They treat women better than they treat other men. They are more generous to women than to other men. They fight for women with other men, and they work hard for the women they love. Women, too, like men. They always try to attract men and win men’s hearts. They trust themselves in men, devote their love to men, unite with men, and follow men’s lead. Men and women cherish and complete each other. Their friendship has been, for the most part, a love story.

In the milongas of Buenos Aires, I am reminded of this love story. I find myself experience a wonderful relationship with Argentine women. On the outside, Argentine women do not particularly strike me as more beautiful than other women. But they surely leave an impression in my heart when I dance with them. They are the most feminine and attractive women that I know. They wear flowers in their hair, look friendly into your eyes, embrace you warmly, with their chest intimately touch yours, and dance gracefully, waving their skirts. Passionate, sentimental and seductive, they twist their body in your arms, entangle their leg with your leg, and wrap your body with their body. Femininity is not their weakness but strength, and they know how to use it to make you feel special. They may be professors, doctors or CEOs in real life, but in the milongas they are just pure, natural, simple and lovely women. That tango is invented by them is not an accident—it is in their blood. Argentine women are the personifications of femininity and affection. Dancing with them is truly one of life’s most gratifying experiences.

Without femininity, tango will not be the same. Tango requires men to be strong, decisive, dependable and protective, and women to be soft, submissive, feminine and beautiful. Men and women play different roles in tango, as they do in life. One is like the stem and the other flowers; together they make a blossomy tree. One is like the brush and the other pigments; together they draw a beautiful painting. In Europe and North America, some people reject this idea as sexism and male domination. They want tango to be void of macho posturing, gender inequality and intimate displays. They want tango partners to maintain a distance from each other, keep away from physical contact, and dance in an open hold to avoid sexual stimulation. They want men not to lead but to “invite” women to move, and respect women’s rights to decline the invitation, to initiate their own steps, and to lead men. They want tango to be danced by same-sex partners as well, women lead women, and men follow men. In short, they want tango to be a gender-neutral dance and the milonga to be like a workplace where everybody conducts in a politically correct manner. (See Tango and Gender Equality)

The masculinization of women in Europe and North America has an undeniable impact on how tango is danced in these societies, where the modern way of life encourages women to put on uniforms, hide their gender identities, and join the work force to fight like men. Many women choose career over marriage, success over family, and independence over relationships. They push legislations to protect women’s rights and equal opportunities, and prohibit men to see women as sex objects. As a result, women, too, see themselves less and less as women, and more and more like men. In order to compete with men, women need to be strong, ambitious and aggressive like men. Many become violent, mean, sloppy and over weight, as they do not care about how men see them any more. And they produce violent, mean, sloppy and over weight daughters, as they want them also to grow up competing with men. Violent women produce violent murderers, as the world has just witnessed in Newtown, Connecticut. When women behave like men, the relationship between men and women deteriorates, the institution of family disintegrates, and children lose parents. When women cease to be feminine, they become less attractive to men, who then turn to same-sex relationships for help. You wonder why “marriage equality” increasingly becomes a discourse in our societies? When women lose their soft, loving nature that has been the balance to men’s aggression, the world is becoming a more dangerous place…

What femininity is to the humanity is like what green is to the environment. I am nostalgic for the missing femininity in our women. I think the world, too, is nostalgic for that, which is why people around the globe find Argentine women and their dance fascinating. If you dance enough tango, as do the Argentine women, you will know that turning women into men just doesn’t work in tango, as it has caused more problems than solving any in other social discourses. That said, I remain hopeful thanks to Argentine tango, because in tango men and women have to be who they are created to be for their common well-being—divergent yet united, distinct yet balanced, different yet complementary, and opposite but equal (See Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II)).