探戈中的女人味和女权主义（二）

当一对训练有素的男女在一起探戈时，浪漫，激情，诗意，梦幻，安全感，舒适，和谐，美，等等，便自然而然产生了。探戈之令人满足在于两性彼此间的吸引和作用。男人带领女人并把她的女人味和美充分展现出来。女人委身于男人并以她的女性和美丽吸引和奖励他。男人和女人互相吸引，互相补充，互相满足，相得益彰。

两性在探戈中担当不同的角色是因其性别特征不同。有人说只要有足够的练习任何人都能扮演任何角色，对此我深表怀疑。在我看来，男人不擅长女性角色不是因为缺乏练习，而是因为他们天生阳刚。男人没有女人的身材，韧性，柔软和轻盈，也没有女人因其生殖功能经长期演变而形成的女性心理，她们对美（吸引男性），爱，和安全的需要。这些特性影响她们的舞蹈。另一方面，女人没有男人的体型和力量，也没有男人因其男性功能经长期演变而形成的男性心理，他们对保持控制，采取行动和保护女人的需要。如果男人和女人天生擅长相反的角色，探戈当然就不是这样跳了。

离我家不远，一只母鹅在大树下孵蛋，一只公鹅守卫在附近防止母鹅被骚扰。我路过那棵树时必须绕道，因为公鹅不许我靠近，他很保护母鹅。可不可以公鹅孵蛋而母鹅守卫呢？我想是可以的。但这不自然，也不合适。雄性的阳刚和雌性的阴柔是关系物种福祉的性别特性。男性通常强壮，果敢，有攻击和保护的本能，或者说是一个好父亲和保护者的材料。女性通常柔弱，美丽，顺从，深情，或者说是一个好母亲和养育者的材料。这些特点使两性相互吸引，组成一个有利于后代的持续关系。有些无知者不欣赏自然的方式而想改变它。但是，自然的方式来自千百万年的天演进化，所以是最好，最适合和最有效的方式。干涉自然往往会导致灾难性的后果，如人为的气候变化，环境污染，自然灾害，神秘的疾病，不育，预受污染的胎儿，以及家庭的解体，等等。那些自以为比上帝更聪明的人对自然的干预会给整个人类带来灾难。

良好的价值观是基于人类的整体利益，而不是个人或某一性别的利益。个人主义和女权主义的问题在于其视野局限于单一的个人和性别，因而混淆了善与恶，美与丑的界线。自私是丑恶的，却被美化成追求幸福。不尊重他人是丑恶的，却被美化成个人自由。高傲自大是丑恶的，却被美化成自信。男子气概是令人钦佩的，却被诬蔑为大男子主义。女人味是美丽的，却被贬低为女性的弱点，等等。个人主义和女权主义者挑战传统探戈，给它贴上男权控制和性别歧视的标签。他们想用没有性别区分的方式来跳探戈舞：男人不带领女人，而只邀请女人迈步；女人不对男人委身，而保持独立自主；她可以选择何时，如何以及是否接受邀请，可以率先动作，也可以带领男人或其他女人；两个舞伴之间保持距离，以避免肉体的亲昵；闭式拥抱也被改为开式握持，以允许更多的个性化表演，等等。结果，探戈被改造得面目全非，不再是原来意义上的探戈了。

传统探戈是基于这样的理念：两性是相互依存而非彼此独立的；阳刚与阴柔的互相补充并不造成男女不平等；做一个具有阳刚之气的男人和有女人味的女人是吸引异性，抢手叫座，于人类有利的；两性间的和谐是通过相互谦让与合作，而不是相互对抗和争权夺利来实现的；爱胜于敌视。个人主义和女权主义希望人们专注于个人的自由和独立性。探戈则要求我们学会友爱，谦恭，温柔，顺从，协同，合作，适应对方，和与对方合一。探戈证明，只要遵循这些原则，男人和女人是能够和睦相处的。我相信探戈会对西方社会和整个人类产生积极的影响，除非我们接受这些价值观，我们无法真正享受这个舞蹈。

Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II)

When a man and a woman tango together, something magic and wonderful happens: romanticism, attraction, fantasy, passion and synergy. Tango would not be so gratifying if it were not danced between a man and a woman. The man leads the woman and brings her femininity into full play. The woman surrenders to the man and uses her femininity to attract and reward him. They complement each other, satisfy each other’s need, and enable each shine more brilliantly in the other’s company.

Some people believe that with enough practice anyone could play either role equally well in tango, which I doubt (See Comments). Men are not good at playing the feminine role not because they are not given the chance, but because they are born masculine. A man does not have a woman’s physique, softness, lightness and flexibility. He also does not have the female psychology evolved due to women’s reproductive nature, their need for beauty (to attract male), affection, safety and protection. These traits impact how women dance. On the other hand, women do not have men’s build and strength. They do not have the male psychology evolved due to men’s protective nature, their need for keeping under control, taking initiatives, and protecting women. If men and women were naturally good at the reversed roles, tango would have been danced differently.

Not too far from my house, a female goose is hatching under a tree, and a male goose is guarding nearby, preventing the female from being disturbed. I have to make a detour when I pass the tree because the male goose does not allow me get close. He is very protective of the female goose. Can the male goose hatch and the female goose guard? I suppose they can. But that would not be natural and as fit. Masculinity and femininity are characteristics of the opposite sexes essential to the well being of the species. The male is typically strong, assertive, aggressive and protective, a good father and protector, if you wish. The female is typically soft, attractive, submissive and affectionate, a good mother and care giver, if you wish. These characteristics enable the opposite sexes to attract each other and form a sustainable relationship for the benefit of the offspring. People often do not appreciate the way nature works and want to alter it. But, what is of nature comes from millions of years of evolution, and is, as a result, the best, fittest and most effective way. Messing with the nature often leads to disastrous consequences, such as manmade climate changes, environmental pollution, natural catastrophes, mysterious diseases, sterility, pre-polluted babies, and disintegration of family. Those who think they are smarter than God are harming us all with their ignorant interferences with the nature.

Good human values are based on what is beneficial to the humanity rather than individual person or gender. The problem of individualism and feminism is that their perspectives are narrowed down to a single person or gender. Consequently, they confuse what is good with what is evil and what is beautiful with what is ugly. Selfishness is ugly, but is being justified as pursuit of happiness. Disrespect of others is ugly, but is being warranted as personal liberty. Arrogance is ugly, but is being prettified as self-confidence. Masculinity is admirable, but is being vilified as sexism. Femininity is beautiful, but is being denigrated as female weakness, etc. These ideologies challenge the traditional way tango is danced, label it as male domination and gender inequality (See Tango and Gender Equality). They want tango to be danced in such way that men and women are undifferentiated, that men do not lead women but only invite women to move, that women do not surrender but remain independent, that women may choose how, when and whether to accept the invitation, initiate their own steps and lead men or other women, that the two partners maintain a distance from each other to prevent sexual harassment, and that tango embrace is replaced with an open hold to allow more individuality, etc. As a result, tango is transformed into something that is no longer tango.

Tango is based on the ideas that men and women are interdependent rather than independent, that masculinity and femininity complement rather than un-equalize the two genders, that being a masculine male and a feminine female is attractive, beneficial and desirable, that the harmony of the two genders is arrived at through mutual submission and cooperation rather than confrontation and power struggle, and that love triumphs over hostility. While individualism and feminism want us to focus on our individuality and independence, tango requires us to focus on our partner and the oneness of the two. It teaches us to be submissive, friendly, humble, gentle, cooperative, adaptive and flexible. Tango proves that the two sexes can form a harmonious relationship by conforming to these values. Despite the challenges tango faces in the West, it continues to exert positive influences on our societies, because unless we adopt its values, we are unable to fully enjoy the dance (See How You Dance Matters).