探戈中的女人味和女权主义（二）

当一对训练有素的男女在一起探戈时，浪漫，激情，诗意，梦幻，安全感，舒适，和谐，美，等等，便自然而然产生了。探戈之令人满足在于两性彼此间的吸引和作用。男人带领女人并把她的女人味和美充分展现出来。女人委身于男人并以她的女性和美丽吸引和奖励他。男人和女人互相吸引，互相补充，互相满足，相得益彰。

两性在探戈中担当不同的角色是因其性别特征不同。有人说只要有足够的练习任何人都能扮演任何角色，对此我深表怀疑。在我看来，男人不擅长女性角色不是因为缺乏练习，而是因为他们天生阳刚。男人没有女人的身材，韧性，柔软和轻盈，也没有女人因其生殖功能经长期演变而形成的女性心理，她们对美（吸引男性），爱，和安全的需要。这些特性影响她们的舞蹈。另一方面，女人没有男人的体型和力量，也没有男人因其男性功能经长期演变而形成的男性心理，他们对保持控制，采取行动和保护女人的需要。如果男人和女人天生擅长相反的角色，探戈当然就不是这样跳了。

离我家不远，一只母鹅在大树下孵蛋，一只公鹅守卫在附近防止母鹅被骚扰。我路过那棵树时必须绕道，因为公鹅不许我靠近，他很保护母鹅。可不可以公鹅孵蛋而母鹅守卫呢？我想是可以的。但这不自然，也不合适。雄性的阳刚和雌性的阴柔是关系物种福祉的性别特性。男性通常强壮，果敢，有攻击和保护的本能，或者说是一个好父亲和保护者的材料。女性通常柔弱，美丽，顺从，深情，或者说是一个好母亲和养育者的材料。这些特点使两性相互吸引，组成一个有利于后代的持续关系。有些无知者不欣赏自然的方式而想改变它。但是，自然的方式来自千百万年的天演进化，所以是最好，最适合和最有效的方式。干涉自然往往会导致灾难性的后果，如人为的气候变化，环境污染，自然灾害，神秘的疾病，不育，预受污染的胎儿，以及家庭的解体，等等。那些自以为比上帝更聪明的人对自然的干预会给整个人类带来灾难。

良好的价值观是基于人类的整体利益，而不是个人或某一性别的利益。个人主义和女权主义的问题在于其视野局限于单一的个人和性别，因而混淆了善与恶，美与丑的界线。自私是丑恶的，却被美化成追求幸福。不尊重他人是丑恶的，却被美化成个人自由。高傲自大是丑恶的，却被美化成自信。男子气概是令人钦佩的，却被诬蔑为大男子主义。女人味是美丽的，却被贬低为女性的弱点，等等。个人主义和女权主义者挑战传统探戈，给它贴上男权控制和性别歧视的标签。他们想用没有性别区分的方式来跳探戈舞：男人不带领女人，而只邀请女人迈步；女人不对男人委身，而保持独立自主；她可以选择何时，如何以及是否接受邀请，可以率先动作，也可以带领男人或其他女人；两个舞伴之间保持距离，以避免肉体的亲昵；闭式拥抱也被改为开式握持，以允许更多的个性化表演，等等。结果，探戈被改造得面目全非，不再是原来意义上的探戈了。

传统探戈是基于这样的理念：两性是相互依存而非彼此独立的；阳刚与阴柔的互相补充并不造成男女不平等；做一个具有阳刚之气的男人和有女人味的女人是吸引异性，抢手叫座，于人类有利的；两性间的和谐是通过相互谦让与合作，而不是相互对抗和争权夺利来实现的；爱胜于敌视。个人主义和女权主义希望人们专注于个人的自由和独立性。探戈则要求我们学会友爱，谦恭，温柔，顺从，协同，合作，适应对方，和与对方合一。探戈证明，只要遵循这些原则，男人和女人是能够和睦相处的。我相信探戈会对西方社会和整个人类产生积极的影响，除非我们接受这些价值观，我们无法真正享受这个舞蹈。

Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II)

When a man and a woman tango together, something magic and wonderful happens: romanticism, attraction, fantasy, passion and synergy. Tango would not be so gratifying if it were not danced between a man and a woman. The man leads the woman and brings her femininity into full play. The woman surrenders to the man and uses her femininity to attract and reward him. They complement each other, satisfy each other’s need, and enable each shine more brilliantly in the other’s company.

Some people believe that with enough practice anyone could play either role equally well in tango, which I doubt (See Comments). Men are not good at playing the feminine role not because they are not given the chance, but because they are born masculine. A man does not have a woman’s physique, softness, lightness and flexibility. He also does not have the female psychology evolved due to women’s reproductive nature, their need for beauty (to attract male), affection, safety and protection. These traits impact how women dance. On the other hand, women do not have men’s build and strength. They do not have the male psychology evolved due to men’s protective nature, their need for keeping under control, taking initiatives, and protecting women. If men and women were naturally good at the reversed roles, tango would have been danced differently.

Not too far from my house, a female goose is hatching under a tree, and a male goose is guarding nearby, preventing the female from being disturbed. I have to make a detour when I pass the tree because the male goose does not allow me get close. He is very protective of the female goose. Can the male goose hatch and the female goose guard? I suppose they can. But that would not be natural and as fit. Masculinity and femininity are characteristics of the opposite sexes essential to the well being of the species. The male is typically strong, assertive, aggressive and protective, a good father and protector, if you wish. The female is typically soft, attractive, submissive and affectionate, a good mother and care giver, if you wish. These characteristics enable the opposite sexes to attract each other and form a sustainable relationship for the benefit of the offspring. People often do not appreciate the way nature works and want to alter it. But, what is of nature comes from millions of years of evolution, and is, as a result, the best, fittest and most effective way. Messing with the nature often leads to disastrous consequences, such as manmade climate changes, environmental pollution, natural catastrophes, mysterious diseases, sterility, pre-polluted babies, and disintegration of family. Those who think they are smarter than God are harming us all with their ignorant interferences with the nature.

Good human values are based on what is beneficial to the humanity rather than individual person or gender. The problem of individualism and feminism is that their perspectives are narrowed down to a single person or gender. Consequently, they confuse what is good with what is evil and what is beautiful with what is ugly. Selfishness is ugly, but is being justified as pursuit of happiness. Disrespect of others is ugly, but is being warranted as personal liberty. Arrogance is ugly, but is being prettified as self-confidence. Masculinity is admirable, but is being vilified as sexism. Femininity is beautiful, but is being denigrated as female weakness, etc. These ideologies challenge the traditional way tango is danced, label it as male domination and gender inequality (See Tango and Gender Equality). They want tango to be danced in such way that men and women are undifferentiated, that men do not lead women but only invite women to move, that women do not surrender but remain independent, that women may choose how, when and whether to accept the invitation, initiate their own steps and lead men or other women, that the two partners maintain a distance from each other to prevent sexual harassment, and that tango embrace is replaced with an open hold to allow more individuality, etc. As a result, tango is transformed into something that is no longer tango.

Tango is based on the ideas that men and women are interdependent rather than independent, that masculinity and femininity complement rather than un-equalize the two genders, that being a masculine male and a feminine female is attractive, beneficial and desirable, that the harmony of the two genders is arrived at through mutual submission and cooperation rather than confrontation and power struggle, and that love triumphs over hostility. While individualism and feminism want us to focus on our individuality and independence, tango requires us to focus on our partner and the oneness of the two. It teaches us to be submissive, friendly, humble, gentle, cooperative, adaptive and flexible. Tango proves that the two sexes can form a harmonious relationship by conforming to these values. Despite the challenges tango faces in the West, it continues to exert positive influences on our societies, because unless we adopt its values, we are unable to fully enjoy the dance (See How You Dance Matters).

探戈中的女人味和女权主义

在布宜诺斯艾利斯的舞会上所跳的探戈舞是男人和女人之间友好，亲密，关爱与和谐关系的写照。男人和女人从起初就是好朋友。男人喜欢女人。他们选择女人而不是男人做他们生活的伴侣。他们对女人比对其他男人好，也更慷慨。他们为女人与其他男人争斗竞争，并为自己所爱的女人拼命工作。女人也喜欢男人。她们总想吸引男人，赢得男人的心。她们把自己信托给男人，与男人结为一体，向男人奉献出自己的爱，并顺从男人的带领。男人和女人互相珍惜，彼此成就。他们的友谊，从总体上说，是一个爱情故事。

布宜诺斯艾利斯的探戈舞会让我想起这个爱情故事。在那些舞会上，我经验了与阿根廷妇女的美好关系。从外表上看，阿根廷妇女并不让我觉得比其他妇女更美丽。但她们却因她们的舞蹈在我心中留下了深刻的印象。她们是我所知道的最有女人味和女性魅力的女人。她们头上插着花，眼睛友好地望进你的眼睛，双手热情地拥抱你，把她们的胸脯亲切地贴在你的胸膛上。她们翩翩起舞，摆动她们的裙子。热烈，多情而富于诱惑，她们在你怀里扭动她们的身体，用她们的腿缠住你的腿，用她们的身体裹住你的身体。女人味并不是她们的弱点，而是她们的力量所在，而且她们知道如何用它来​​让你感觉特别。在现实生活中她们可能是教授，医生或老总，但在舞会上她们却只是单纯，自然，简单，可爱的女人。探戈由她们发明绝非出于偶然，因为那是在她们的血液中。阿根廷妇女是女人味和女性情感的人格化。与她们跳舞的确是人生中最令人满足的经验之一。

离开了女人味，探戈就不一样了。探戈需要男人强壮，果断，可靠，对女人很保护，也需要女人温柔，顺从，有女人味，妖娆美丽。男人和女人在探戈中扮演不同的角色，就如同在生活中一样。一个象枝干，另一个象花朵；在一起他们成为一棵盛开的大树。一个象画笔，另一个象颜料；在一起他们绘出美丽的画图。在欧洲和北美，有些人认为这种想法是性别歧视和男权控制。他们不希望探戈中有大男子主义，性别不平等和亲密的举动。他们希望舞伴之间保持距离，没有身体接触，用开式拥抱跳舞，以避免性刺激。他们希望男人不是带领女人，而是“邀请”女人做动作，并尊重她们拒绝邀请，率先动作，和带领男人的权利。他们还希望探戈在同性舞伴之间跳，女人带领女人，男人跟随男人。总之，他们希望探戈成为中性化的舞蹈，而舞会则象工作场所那样，在其中所有的人都以“政治上正确”的方式对待他人。

在欧洲和北美，妇女的男性化对探戈的跳法有着不可否认的影响。在那些社会里，现代生活方式鼓励妇女穿上工作服，隐藏起自己的性别特征，加入劳动大军同男人一样战斗。许多妇女把职业生涯放在婚姻之上，把个人成功放在家庭之上，把独立自主放在配偶关系之上。她们推动保护妇女权利和机会平等的法令，禁止男人把女人视为性对象。结果，妇女也越来越不把自己看成是女人，而把自己越来越看得象男人一样。为了与男人竞争，女人需要具有象男人一样的强势，事业心和挑战性。许多女人变得粗暴，讨厌，邋遢，肥胖，因为她们不再关心男人怎么看她们。她们养出粗暴，讨厌，邋遢，肥胖的女儿，因为希望她们长大后也与男人竞争。暴力的女人培养出暴力的杀人凶手，正如全世界刚刚在康涅狄格的Newtown所目睹的那样。当女人的行为变得如同男人，男女之间的关系便恶化，家庭便解体，孩子便失去父母。当女人不再有女人味时，她们对男人就不再那么有吸引力了，男人于是到同性关系中寻找替代。你想知道为什么“婚姻平等”日益成为我们社会中的热门话题吗？当女人失去其温柔仁爱的本性——这原是对男人好斗本性的一种平衡，这世界将成为一个更加危险的地方......

女人味之与人类，就象绿色之与环境。我为我们的妇女身上正在失去的女人味感到遗憾。我想，世界也在为此怀旧，这是为什么全球各地的人们都发现阿根廷妇女和她们的舞蹈如此迷人。如果你跳探戈舞跳得足够多，就象阿根廷妇女那样，你就会知道把女人变成男人在探戈里是行不通的，正如这在其他社会生活领域也造成了许多麻烦，却没有解决任何问题。在说了这些以后，感谢阿根廷探戈，我仍然对未来抱着希望，因为在探戈里，男人和女人为他们共同的利益必须保持他们之所以创造出来的样子：不同，然而是统一的；独特，而又不失平衡，多样，却互相补充，相反，但仍是平等的。

Femininity and Feminism in Tango

The tango that is danced in the milongas of Buenos Aires reflects a relationship between men and women that is friendly, loving, intimate and harmonious. Since the beginning of time men and women have been best friends. Men like women. They choose women over men to be their life partner. They treat women better than they treat other men. They are more generous to women than to other men. They fight for women with other men, and they work hard for the women they love. Women, too, like men. They always try to attract men and win men’s hearts. They trust themselves in men, devote their love to men, unite with men, and follow men’s lead. Men and women cherish and complete each other. Their friendship has been, for the most part, a love story.

In the milongas of Buenos Aires, I am reminded of this love story. I find myself experience a wonderful relationship with Argentine women. On the outside, Argentine women do not particularly strike me as more beautiful than other women. But they surely leave an impression in my heart when I dance with them. They are the most feminine and attractive women that I know. They wear flowers in their hair, look friendly into your eyes, embrace you warmly, with their chest intimately touch yours, and dance gracefully, waving their skirts. Passionate, sentimental and seductive, they twist their body in your arms, entangle their leg with your leg, and wrap your body with their body. Femininity is not their weakness but strength, and they know how to use it to make you feel special. They may be professors, doctors or CEOs in real life, but in the milongas they are just pure, natural, simple and lovely women. That tango is invented by them is not an accident—it is in their blood. Argentine women are the personifications of femininity and affection. Dancing with them is truly one of life’s most gratifying experiences.

Without femininity, tango will not be the same. Tango requires men to be strong, decisive, dependable and protective, and women to be soft, submissive, feminine and beautiful. Men and women play different roles in tango, as they do in life. One is like the stem and the other flowers; together they make a blossomy tree. One is like the brush and the other pigments; together they draw a beautiful painting. In Europe and North America, some people reject this idea as sexism and male domination. They want tango to be void of macho posturing, gender inequality and intimate displays. They want tango partners to maintain a distance from each other, keep away from physical contact, and dance in an open hold to avoid sexual stimulation. They want men not to lead but to “invite” women to move, and respect women’s rights to decline the invitation, to initiate their own steps, and to lead men. They want tango to be danced by same-sex partners as well, women lead women, and men follow men. In short, they want tango to be a gender-neutral dance and the milonga to be like a workplace where everybody conducts in a politically correct manner. (See Tango and Gender Equality)

The masculinization of women in Europe and North America has an undeniable impact on how tango is danced in these societies, where the modern way of life encourages women to put on uniforms, hide their gender identities, and join the work force to fight like men. Many women choose career over marriage, success over family, and independence over relationships. They push legislations to protect women’s rights and equal opportunities, and prohibit men to see women as sex objects. As a result, women, too, see themselves less and less as women, and more and more like men. In order to compete with men, women need to be strong, ambitious and aggressive like men. Many become violent, mean, sloppy and over weight, as they do not care about how men see them any more. And they produce violent, mean, sloppy and over weight daughters, as they want them also to grow up competing with men. Violent women produce violent murderers, as the world has just witnessed in Newtown, Connecticut. When women behave like men, the relationship between men and women deteriorates, the institution of family disintegrates, and children lose parents. When women cease to be feminine, they become less attractive to men, who then turn to same-sex relationships for help. You wonder why “marriage equality” increasingly becomes a discourse in our societies? When women lose their soft, loving nature that has been the balance to men’s aggression, the world is becoming a more dangerous place…

What femininity is to the humanity is like what green is to the environment. I am nostalgic for the missing femininity in our women. I think the world, too, is nostalgic for that, which is why people around the globe find Argentine women and their dance fascinating. If you dance enough tango, as do the Argentine women, you will know that turning women into men just doesn’t work in tango, as it has caused more problems than solving any in other social discourses. That said, I remain hopeful thanks to Argentine tango, because in tango men and women have to be who they are created to be for their common well-being—divergent yet united, distinct yet balanced, different yet complementary, and opposite but equal (See Femininity and Feminism in Tango (II)).

探戈与性别平等

有人真的认为传统的阿根廷探戈在政治上是不正确的，而欧洲和北美的开式拥抱探戈是经过净化提纯,符合现代世界要求的探戈。我最近所读过的一本书表达了以下观点： 

“在欧洲，人们的想法似乎是，舞蹈中的和谐是经由双方同意而实现的，男人和女人是平等的舞伴。然而，即使在今天，在布宜诺斯艾利斯，我得到的鲜明印象是，他们认为男人是在完全掌控中，每一个动作都是由男人领出来的，舞蹈的进展是一系列有效带领的后果......一个阿根廷探戈网站近期的一篇文章涉及到男人和女人之间的关系，它使用了‘女人对待委身的态度’这样的词语......我完全不能肯定这个观念在跟我跳舞的女人中会有多少人接受。我明白查看探戈历史上毫无疑问的大男子主义倾向可能有意思，或许从中也能对我们今天可以怎么跳舞得到一些启发。但我不乐意接受这个观念在现代世界中仍然是探戈的本质感觉。更吸引我的观点是，探戈是从一个幸运的，主要起源于欧洲的多元文化中演变出来的。探戈似乎在二十世纪二十年代在巴黎被输入精致文雅的血液。在我看来，它今天似乎又受益于欧洲各地在其手臂上注射的血液。探戈在这里发展迅速，并得到净化提纯以符合现代人际关系的要求。我相信它可能正在失去其狭隘的，甚至是地主义的风格，而在一个新的，更有凝聚力的欧洲人民手中变得真正国际化了。我们不是沮丧想家，困苦不堪，离家千里，寻求爱情，却只有太少女人能分享的欧洲人。我们是新世界中的新人类。虽然我们作为个人带入舞蹈的激情是与所有的男人和女人从起初就共享的基本感受相同的，其强度却必然不同，而最重要的是，两性之间的平衡已经改变了。也可能在欧洲，我们的社会是在以与拉丁美洲不同的速度发展，虽然我想不是朝着不同的方向。今天的欧洲妇女有着极大的权力，地位和影响力，而且她们把自己的需要很清楚地表达出来。现代欧洲妇女对大男子主义态度是不会有太正面的反应的......女人似乎喜欢自己的男人有自信，但又希望他们细腻体贴。女人痛恨被人欺负。她们喜欢被人邀请，并想感觉到是否按自己的意愿接受或拒绝是在她们自己的完全控制中。接受邀请并不是‘委身'......当你想到很久以前，在二十世纪初期，渴望被女人触摸的粗俗男人在妓院里跳探戈舞，男女亲密是他们那时所做的交易。开式拥抱是对探戈进行“消毒”以使它适合更文雅的人士和更广大的观众而发展起来的。”

作者对他显然不太了解的事所持的那种优越态度是荒唐可笑的。传统探戈不是欺负人。开式探戈也不尽温文尔雅。认为跳闭式探戈的人比跳开式探戈的人肮脏而缺乏文明的观点是荒谬和虚伪的。

然而，让我更担忧的是他的平等观念。我恐怕它确实反映了欧洲和北美一些人对传统探戈所持的偏见和把探戈改变为一个中性舞蹈的企图。我们为那些对自己的性别取向不安的人争取权利，这是应该的，因为他们也是人。但我们大多数人对自己的性别没有问题。我所知道的大多数男人对他们的男性特征和阳刚之气感到自豪。他们的行为，功能和舞蹈象男人。我所知道的大多数女人为她们的女性特征和女人味感到骄傲。她们的行为，功能和舞蹈象女人。男人和女人彼此平等并相互吸引，因为他们是他们所是。他们互相欣赏，互相珍惜，互相需要，相得益彰。女人生育和照顾后代。男人保护，并为他们提供。两性在生活和舞蹈中扮演不同的角色，这没有人，尤其是现代男女，应该感到羞愧。真正的现代人不认为女人需要表现得象男人一样才与男人平等。她们可以是女人，而仍然与男人平等。真正的现代的人相信男性和女性的关系是以爱为基础的，而不是以权力为基础的。他们不认为异性之间的纯洁亲密是污秽的。他们也不对人持沙文主义的态度，特别是对一个人民，其艺术他们深深受益，而其文化他们可能还未完全理解。

正如我在另一篇文章中所说，“探戈的精髓是欢迎别人进入你的个人空间，接受那个人，向他委身，放弃你的自我，倾听那人内心的声音和感受，做个体贴，合作，谦让，顺应的人，享受两人间的亲 密，与他/她合而为一，并给他/她以安慰，快乐和爱。这与我们的文化所代表的观念，即个人主义，独立性，自我利益，敌对好斗，是不同的。”（《爱的艺术》）与作者所认为的恰恰相反，探戈中的委身是相互的。只有在委身中我们才停止竞争而开始彼此适应。探戈在现代世界中深受欢迎是因为它有使人升华的力量。它使我们完整，让我们能在一种亲密关系中与对方成为一体,而免遭属于上个世纪的论断指责。探戈是与虚伪相反的。在探戈中我们变成更美好，更健康，更自然，更融洽的男性和女性。那些倾向于“政治上正确”而不是正当的人性，性别中性化而不是性别解放，权力斗争而不是爱，分离而不是融合，疏远而不是亲密，傲慢而不是谦卑，个人表现而不是伙伴关系的人生活在过去的阴影中。他们是在以与拉丁美洲不同的速度发展，而且不是象作者所认为的那样朝着同一个方向。他们当然不代表探戈的未来。

Tango and Gender Equality

There are people who actually think that the traditional tango of Argentina is politically incorrect, and the open-embrace tango of Europe and North America is the distilled and sanitized version of tango that meets the requirements of the modern world. A book I read recently expressed the following opinion:

“In Europe, the idea seems to be that harmony in dance is arrived at by mutual consent and that men and women are equal partners. I get the distinct impression, however, that even today, in Buenos Aires, the idea is that the man is in complete control; every action has its lead and the progress of the dance is a series of well-established consequences… A recent article from a tango web site in Argentina touched on the relationship between the man and the woman. It used the phrase ‘The woman’s attitude of surrender’… I am not at all sure this notion would find much acceptability with the women I dance with. I can see how it might be interesting to look at the undoubtedly macho flavour in history of tango and perhaps derive some ideas from it for our dance-play today. I am less happy to accept this idea as the essential feeling of tango in the modern world. I am more attracted to the idea that tango evolved out of a lucky fusion of multiple cultures, mostly European in origin. It seems that it received a transfusion of refinement in Paris in the 1920s, and it looks to me as if it is benefiting today from another shot in the arm all over Europe. Tango is growing apace here and is being distilled to meet the requirements of today’s relationships. I believe it may be losing its narrow, even parochial feel and is becoming truly international in the hands of a new and more cohesive European people. We are not frustrated, homesick, stressed Europeans, seeking love miles from home with too few women to share. We are a new breed in a new world. Though the passions we bring as individuals to the dance will be the same basic feelings all men and women have shared since the beginning of time, the intensity must be different, and the balance between the sexes has altered most of all. It may also be the case that our societies in Europe are evolving at a different pace from that of Latin America, though not, I suspect, in a different direction. In the Europe today women have immense power, status and influence and they express their needs very clearly. The modern European woman is unlikely to respond too positively to macho posturing… It seems women like their men to be positive but they also want finesse and thoughtfulness. Women hate to be bullied. They prefer to be invited and to feel that they are in full control to accept, or decline, as they feel. Accepting an invitation is not ‘surrender' (See How Tango Is Led)... When you think about tango being danced way back at the beginning of the 20th century by earthy men in bordellos, hungry for a woman’s touch, closeness between a man and a woman was the business they were in. It was in the ‘sanitising’ of tango for the more genteel public and the wider world audience that the open embrace evolved.”

The author’s attitude of superiority toward something he apparently has little understanding is absurd. The traditional tango is not bullying. Neither is the open embrace tango all genteel. To suggest that people who dance in close embrace are somewhat dirty and less civilized than those who dance in open embrace is ridiculous and hypocritical.

What concerns me most, however, is his view on equality. I am afraid it could indeed reflect the prejudice against the traditional tango and the attempt to change tango to a gender-neutral dance in Europe and North America. We fight for the rights of those who are uneasy with their sex orientations, and we should, because they are human beings, too. But most of us do not have problems with our own genders. Most men that I know are happy with their manhood and masculinity, and they behave, function and dance like men. Most women that I know are happy with their womanhood and femininity, and they behave, function and dance like women. Men and women are equal and attractive to each other because of who they are. They appreciate, cherish, need, and complement each other. Women bear and nurse offspring. Men protect and provide for them. They play different roles in life and dance, which nobody, certainly no modern men and women, should feel ashamed of. True modern people do not think that women should act like men in order to be equal with men. They can be women, and still be equal with men. True modern people believe that the relationship between men and women is love-based and not power-based. They do not regard decent intimacy between the opposite sexes as filthy, and they are not chauvinistic, especially toward a people whose art they are deeply indebted to, and whose culture they may not yet fully comprehend.

As I said in another post, “The idea of tango is to welcome another person into your personal space, to accept that person, to surrender, to let go your ego, to listen to the inner voice and feelings of that person, to be considerate, cooperative, yielding and adaptive, to enjoy the intimacy, to be one with that person, and to give comfort, pleasure and love. It is a different idea from what our culture stands for, that is, individualism, independence, self-interests and aggression.” (The Art of Love) Contrary to what the author thinks, the surrender in tango is mutual. It is in surrender that we stop to compete and start to adapt. Tango becomes popular in the modern world because it has the power to sublimate people. It completes us by allowing us to be one with each other in an intimate relationship void of judgmental criticisms of the last century. Tango is the opposite of hypocrisy. In tango we become better, healthier, more natural and cohesive men and women. Those who prefer political correctness to decent humanity, gender neutralization to gender emancipation, power struggle to love, separation to cohesion, distance to intimacy, egoism to humility, and individuality to partnership live in the shadow of the past. They are evolving at a different pace from that of Latin America, and not in the same direction as the author thought. They certainly do not represent the future of tango.

探戈中的性别角色（二）

男人的身体一般比女人高大，沉重，强壮，敦实，可以依靠，因此男人在探戈中承担具有以下功能的男性角色：

一，带领女人。为要舞蹈得象一个人一样，两人的动作必须完全一致。为了做到这一点，只有一个人必须带领，而另一个人必须跟随。在探戈中，是男人带领女人。他不是用强力迫使女人，而是通过胸部的信号让她知道该如何移动。女人在男人的怀抱里可以感觉到他的意图。他然后根据她的反应作出相应的反应，来完成该步的带领。

二，支持女人。男人必须成为女人的靠山。虽然女人有责任保持自身的平衡，在实际舞蹈中她常常依靠他来保持平衡，特别如果她是个经验不足的舞者。男人一定要成为她的支柱，象冰箱一样稳固可靠。如果他不稳固可靠，就会动摇她的信任和信心。

三，让她踩在节拍上。男人必须带领女人按音乐跳舞。他的乐感是带领的最重要的元素。他不能专注于想要带领的步伐而忘记听音乐，也不能只顾自己的计时而忘了她的计时。相反，他必须专注于让她的舞步与音乐吻合，因为他是为她跳舞。

四，使她熠熠生辉。一个绅士得让女人闪耀。他带领她跳舞以显示她的美丽并将她的女人味充分展现出来。他让她，而不是自己，成为众目仰望的中心。他不自我炫耀，而使她黯然失色。

五，保护她。男人一定要非常保护女人。他必须防止她被人撞到，踩到，或踢到。他必须恪守交规，遵行舞线，与他人保持距离，必要时停止前进，而不撞到别人身上。他不能带她跳可能会伤害她或他人的舞步。

六，对她温柔体贴。对女人野蛮粗鲁是不够男子气的。一位绅士用尊重，欣赏和体贴的态度对待女人。他小心翼翼，很有耐心地带领，保护她，让她在他的怀抱得到宠爱，能尽情享受与他跳舞的快乐。

女人的身体一般比男人娇小，轻盈，柔软，柔韧，柔美，因此女人在探戈中承担具有以下功能的女性角色：

一，完全委身。女人必须把自己完全交给男人，放弃她的自我，融化在他的怀抱里，服从他，与他同步移动。她用自己的委身打消他的疑虑，准许他来带领她。正如当婴儿一出生年轻父母一下子变成了大人一样，她用她的委身使他成为一个男子汉。

二，顺从他的带领。她必须冷静从容，等待他的信号告诉她如何行动，并一步一步地跟着信号跳。她不能擅自行动，干扰他的带领，或率先起步。然而，在顺服的同时，她又必须是舞蹈中积极主动的一员。跟随不是被拖着走，而是一种主动敏感的反应，需要急智，机敏和创造性 。

三，保持自身的轻盈敏捷。她必须让自己变得轻巧，易于带领。她不能把重量都压在他身上，让他感到沉重。她必须保持自身的平衡，而不是拽着他或挂在他身上，靠他来保持平衡。她必须对他的带领非常敏感，时刻准备作出反应，并且行动敏捷。

四，踩在节拍上。一个好的跟舞者是靠直觉跟随，所以她可以专心听音乐，而不用把注意力集中在带领上。男人尽他的力量带领她按音乐跳舞，但他只能对节拍进行估计。既然是估计，就不可能总是百分之百准确。女人一定要听音乐，并承担起按节拍调整自己舞步的责任。

五，做他的补充。作为他的舞伴，她必须帮助他，发挥他的长处，弥补他的短处。她以自己的激情和女人味来激发他。她舞蹈得轻盈灵巧而富有感染力。当他失去平衡时，她支持他。当他计时不准时，她保持着节拍。如果他跳得太快，她让他慢下来。如果他要撞到别人，她预告他。

六，美化舞蹈。女人是天生的美容师和装饰师。美是她的特长。男人是领舞者，然而是女人用她的华步和点缀使舞蹈生辉。但是，一个好的跟舞者不会在装饰舞步时干扰男人的带领。相反，她在做装饰时完全与领舞者保持一致。

七，做一个女人。女人不能在跳舞时象一个机器人，而必须象一个女人。她必须让男人感觉很舒服。她必须刻意展示她女性的温柔，柔韧，柔美和魅力。她明白，她的女人特征，女人味和女性的温柔是男人之所以喜欢跟她而不是跟一个男人跳舞的原因。通过做一个女人，她可以引出他最好的品质，从而得到充分的回报。

The Gender Roles in Tango (II)

The man is physically bigger, heavier, stronger, firmer, and more reliable. He plays the masculine role in tango. The following are the functions of his role:

1. Leading the woman. For the couple to dance in unison, the movements of the two must agree. For this to happen, only one person must lead, and the other must follow. In tango, the man leads the woman. He does this not by force, but by showing an intention of how he wants her to move, with a signal from his torso that she in his embrace can feel. He then follows her reaction and matches her step to complete the lead.

2. Supporting the woman. The man must be supportive to the woman. Although the woman is responsible for keeping her own balance, in reality she often needs his help, especially if she is a less experienced dancer. The man must be a pillar for her and as stable as a refrigerator. Any unsteadiness and unbalance on his part will shake her trust and confidence.

3. Timing her steps to the music. The man must lead the woman dance to the music. His musicality is the most important element of good leading. He must not stick in the steps he wants to lead and forget about the music. He must not just pay attention to his own timing and forget about hers. Instead, he must focus on timing her steps to the music, because he dances for her.

4. Shining her. A gentleman lets the woman shine. He leads her dance in such a way that displays her beauty and gives full play to her femininity. He makes her, rather than himself, the center of attention. He does not show off over her for self-glorification.

5. Protecting her. The man must be very protective to the woman. He must prevent her from being bumped, stepped or kicked by others. He must obey the traffic law, respect the line of dance, keep a distance from others, stop if necessary, and not run into people. And he must not lead steps that may hurt her or others.

6. Being gentle to her. It is not manly to be rude and pushy to the woman. A gentleman treats the woman with respect, appreciation, and gentleness. He leads her carefully, patiently, tenderly and protectively. He makes her feel pampered in his embrace, and let her fully enjoy dancing with him.

The woman is physically smaller, lighter, softer, more flexible and beautiful. She plays the feminine role in tango. The following are the functions of her role:

1. Complete surrender. The woman must surrender herself to the man. She must let go her ego, melt in his embrace, be obedient, and move in unison with him. By her surrender she dispels his misgivings and gives him permission to be her leader. Just like when a baby is born the parents become grownups, she makes him a man by being a woman.

2. Following the lead. She must be calm and unhurried, wait for his signal to tell her how to move, and follow the lead one step at a time. She must not act on her own, interfere with the lead, or initiate the step. However, while being obedient, she must also remain an active part of the dance. Following is not passively responding. It is a dynamic action that takes wits, ingenuity and creativeness.

3. Being light. She must make herself light and easy for him to lead. She must not put too much weight on the man and cause heaviness to him. She must keep her own balance and not grab or hang on him for support. She must be sensitive to the lead and ready to respond at all time. And, she must move dexterously.

4. Keeping her beat. A good follower follows by intuition so she can concentrate on the music rather than the lead. The man does his part to lead her dance to the music, but he can only do so by estimating the beat. The problem of estimating is that he can't be one hundred percent accurate at all time. The woman must listen to the music and be responsible for micro-adjusting her steps to the beat.

5. Complementing the man. As his partner, she must help him, bring out his strengths, and make up his weaknesses. She excites him with her passion and femininity, and dances in such a way that is light and inspiring. She supports him when he loses balance, keeps the beat when he is off time, slows him down if he rushes, and warns him when he is to bump into others.

6. Beautifying the dance. A woman is a natural beautician and decorator. Beauty is her specialty. The man leads the dance, but it is the woman who shines the dance with her beautiful footwork and adornments. A good follower, however, embellishes her footwork in such a way that does not interfere with the lead. Rather, she remains in complete unison with the leader while doing the embellishments.

7. Being feminine. The woman must not dance as a mechanical follower, but as a woman. She must make the man feel comfortable. She must willfully display her female softness, flexibility, grace and seductiveness. She understands that her womanhood, femininity and gentle softness are the reason why he enjoys dancing with her rather than with a man. By being a woman, she can bring out the best in him and be rewarded fully in return.

探戈中的性别角色

在探戈中，每个舞伴担任各自不同的，与其性别相应的角色。女舞伴拒绝委身，以不顺从来激恼男舞伴，让他感觉不舒服，或男舞伴不保护女舞伴，粗暴而不温柔，只顾显摆自己而让女舞伴黯然失色等，都是违反性别角色的例子。不幸的是，这样的事时常在我们的舞会中发生。

我们的探戈达不到水准的原因之一是我们不教性别角色。我们甚至不使用“男人”和“女人”这两个词。相反，我们使用中性条款“领舞者”和“跟舞者”，而且允许任何性别担当任何角色，完全不知道这个角色是什么，以及该如何承担该角色。以我们“政治上正确”的思维模式，每个人都是中性人。我们不训练学员做一个绅士或淑女，做一个有男子气概或女人味的人，做一个吸引异性的人。我们只教机械运动，没有角色区分，没有激情，没有感情的参与，没有阳刚与阴柔之美，没有诱惑，甚至没有身体接触。因此，我们的探戈缺乏探戈实际上所是的东西，而成为一种中性的舞蹈。

然而，在阿根廷，探戈正好是中性舞蹈的反面。阿根廷探戈是男子气概与女人味最热烈最充分的显示。它突出而不是隐藏两性的魅力和功能。它以拥抱和亲密的身体接触满足男女亲昵的需要。它是一个性感和诱人的舞蹈。

虽然更换性别角色在这个国家成了一种时尚，有一个事实是改变不了的：没有人能违背自然规律而仍然处于他/她的最佳状态。女人做领舞者是太女性化了。尽管在技术上她也许能带领别人，她却没有领舞者必须具有的阳刚，也不能发挥男人必须对女人发挥的作用和功能。同样，男人做跟舞者是太男性化了。他根本没有跟随者必须具有的阴柔，也不能发挥女人必须对男人发挥的作用和功能，尽管在技术上他也许能跟随。探戈不只是带领和跟随。它是阳刚之美和阴柔之美的显示，是一个性别对另一个性别发生作用。没有阳刚与阴柔，探戈便失去了它的光彩。

The Gender Roles in Tango

In tango, each partner plays a distinctive role in correspondence with his/her gender. Gender roles are violated, for example, when the woman refuses to surrender, when she irritates the man with her disobedience, when she neglects her duty to make him comfortable, when the man fails to protect the woman, when he shines himself instead of her, and when he is not gentle. Unfortunately, such happens all the time in our milongas.

One reason our tango doesn’t go very far is that we don’t teach gender roles. We don’t even use the words “man” and “woman”. Instead, we use the neutral terms “leader” and “follower”, and we allow either gender to play either role with absolutely no knowledge of what this role is about and how to play it. In our politically corrected mindset, everyone is a gender-neutral person. We do not train students to function as a man or woman, to be masculine or feminine, and to be seductive. We only teach mechanical movements. There is no role play, no passion, no emotional involvement, no masculinity and femininity, no seduction, and even no body contact. Consequently, our tango lacks what tango actually is. It becomes a gender-neutral dance.

In Argentina, however, tango is exactly the opposite of a gender-neutral dance. Argentine tango is a passionate and elaborate display of masculinity and femininity. It underscores rather than hides the attractions and functions of the opposite sexes. It fulfills the need for intimacy between men and women through embrace and intimate body contact. It is a sensual and seductive dance.

As fashionable as it is to switch roles in this country, one fact remains: nobody can be at his/her best against nature. A woman is too feminine to be a leader. She simply cannot be as masculine as the leader must be, and function as a man must function to a woman, regardless of how technically adequate she can lead. And a man is too masculine to be a follower. He simply cannot be as feminine as the follower must be, and function as a women must function to a man, regardless of how technically adequate he can follow. Tango is not just about lead and follow. It is a display of masculine and feminine beauty and a function of one gender to the other. Without masculinity and femininity, tango loses its splendor.